you're a mystery yourself
heavy storm is blowing my head. it is like a hurricane. so just please stay away from me. dont u dare to come any nearer..or else u'll get affected. haishhhh...sabar je la...x baik marahkn org sesuka hati. x baik rasa menyampah sesuka hati. x baik jgk utk rasa sedih n kecewa sesuka hati. and x baik jgk utk tidak ambil peduli sesuka hati... +(
let the curtain falls.
and now you have flown back to Japan. being miles away from u makes me feel worried. i do worry every single thing about u..even over the small matters. things like 'are you doing well?' and 'have you eaten' will always overwhelm my head. u are no longer in my sight. how i wish we live on the same continent and spend each second together. huuuu..i truly miss u so much. some people say 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'. i believe that's true. being far from u makes me missing u more and more. i cant wait to see u and hear ur passionate voice right in front of me. we've been together for almost 6 months. i know that is still new yet i can feel that u are my ultimate destiny. we've been friends since 5 years ago and now the 'friendship' has finally turned into 'relationship'. the first time we met as friends was at KL Central and then we both headed to The Mines Serdang. there, u treated me delicious KFC. if i'm not mistaken, that was the first time a guy treated me food. i was so shy and less talkative. what a small world. who knows we're destined to be together. eventually ur ring that always sticks to my finger. never taught of me to fall in love with you..and never taught of me that i'd be the one u choose to spend ur life with. it was a great bliss and gratefulness to have u by my side
if people ask me what was the great gift i received on my 2009's birthday, the answer would be accepting your proposal. thanks for 'saving' me from my ex. thanks for always giving me company when i dont have one although i was bounded with him. and if people ask me what is the happiest thing occurs in 2010, my answer would be wearing this golden ring given by u. it is an unexpected surprise indeed. this ring symbolizes "sorry...this lady is already taken. go and find someone else!'. now u r very far-away from me, it is always ur pictures and the ring that i always look at
let the curtain falls.
let's dont talk crappy thing and just straight to the point.
is that my fault for not trying to sustain my teaching passion? i'm well aware that it is not appropriate to be in this kind of situation..yet it is out of my control. when i'm about to have english lessons with 2 Baiduri, my spirit drops down. i climb up the stairs like a zombie. even zombie climbs up better than me. wait... can zombie actually climb? just shut the crap please!. zombie's matter is none of my interest. ok, let's get back to my rambling. i teach 2 Baiduri students with 'touch n go' concept. let me brief you about this concept first. usually when people drive down the highways, those who have 'touch n go' cards will take their cards out before reaching the tolls. upon reaching them, they touch the cards against the reader and wave 'bye2' to the tolls when their gates are opened. as simple as that. so, that's what i become in 2 Baiduri. i merely entering the class,teaching bla, bla and bla,looking at my watch everytime and starting to wonder when the lessons will be finished. when the lessons are over, phew...what an unimaginable big relief. i feel like eventually i am free from a lock-down prison. who create chaos in that class?the answer is the boys. yeahh, it is always boys who cause major problem to me. they act like small kids. they grunt to you over all matters...for example, if today they come to you saying, "teacher tgk dia ni..dia ambk pen sy", the next day they would seek your attention by saying, "teacher, dia ni simbah air atas bdn sy,". usually, i ignore all those interruptions. if i address their grumbles and foolish jokes, they will definitely take me down. until then, finger crossed and let's us hope for the best
let the curtain falls.
i've abandoned this blog for quite a long time. my new home has successfully occupied me with lotsa of stuff. and the result is - this blog is leaving unattended! i've been transferred to this so-called new home three months ago. this home is named as SMK Laloh. just look at the name of the school. i believe that u guys might notice that its name is somehow linked with one of the 'hulu' names that never reached out ur mind. i am ok with its interior location indeed. never thought of me to wish to be posted in urban-school areas. wherever the school is, i try to be positive-minded and accept as the way it is...
however being in that school for 3 months, my perception is slightly changed. it is a swindle if i'm saying that i'm totally ok the school. i am pretty aware of the low English level among my students. even some of them do not understand 'Bahasa Melayu standard language' such as 'nama samaran' and many more that i fail to recall. to overcome this problem, i teach English by using 80% BM. quite often i think that i'm actually conducting BM lesson instead of English due to the reason that all the grammar content taught is using BM as a medium of interaction. what a sigh!! it is hazardaous to my English level. and now, sincerely i feel that some English words are just stucked in my throat. they just do not come out! writing this entry till this length is something awkward and difficult. i keep re-editing some of the sentences and re-spelling some words. my English is at freaking stake.... benarlah kata orang, 'guru itu lilin. kadang2 nk memahamkan org, dia sndiri yg terpksa bakar dirinya sndiri...' and what i'm doing now is, i'm burning my English...
the second reason of why i'm slightly not ok with the school is because of the some back-mouth teachers there. in front of u, they are really nice and loving and when they turn their back from u, nahhhh...their true colours show. they gossip about u, talk something improper about ur body and so on. what with that such attitude man!! u teach ur students some moral values but in real life, u dont practise what u've taught. it's a shame! i dont even talk something bad about u..what i always do in the staff room is my bloody-hell own business. i dont interfere ur life man...so dont ever interfere mine. just be grown-up la....aku x fhm btl la ade jgk org mcm ni
the third reason is- ade jgk few teachers there yg x sedar diri dh tua bangka tp still nk ngorat anak2 dara (sorry guys..using BM is more straight-forward and lg senang nk fhm). i do understand if they make jokes about their status saying that they are still bachelor in spite of their actual marriage status. that is still fine and tolerable. but what the heck with the act of calling me berpuluh2 kali within a day?? this did not occur just within 1 day..ni berhari2. please be shameful ok! i didnt answer ur call or reply ur missed call at all. that means i have no slight interest to get knowing u. plus, u r very2 old!! get real man!! seriously i dont understand him. xtau la nk ckap dia xde bini ke or duda ke..whatever la!! none of my business...sentap dgn org perangai cmni =S
tu la my school. full of colours and human species with different characters...
suddenly the song of sean kingston 'fire burning' comes across my mind. one of the lyrics says that 'fire burning on the dancefloor'. now, i assume the 'fire' is 'me'..and the 'danclefloor' is all 'my five classes'. so in another words, i'm burning my classroom. how cool is that?? heheh
let the curtain falls.